My last post “The Battle of MY Bulge” seemed to spur a bunch of comments, mostly from women who were having a difficult time losing weight. In that post I wrote that the answer to maintaining MY weight loss was to think and eat like a thin and healthy person.   One reader’s comment to me was “I’m interested in knowing how you think a thin person thinks.” 

Weight has always been a huge issue for women.  And lately I seem to be making the same comment over and over again to friends … “STOP TELLING YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE FAT!!!  I’ve come to realize that there is an epidemic of women who feel inadequate, who say the same “mean girl” words to themselves that I said to myself every day:   “I’m so fat”… “I can’t believe how fat I am” … “How did I do this to myself?” …”I don’t want anyone to see me” …”I have nothing that fits” … and even “I hate myself.”  It makes me very sad to know how many women are going through this when they should love themselves for everything they do for others!  We are so much more than what we see in the mirror.

I would like to try to give women back their self-esteem but first they need to realize that they are the emotional center of everything!!!! We carry so many burdens!  The burden (and pleasure) of raising children, keeping a home, working, caring for our aging parents, putting dinner on the table, worrying where the money is going to come from; then there’s pregnancy, postpartum depression, peri-menopause, menopause, post-menopause….!!!  Aren’t we allowed to go through life’s ups and downs with a little bit of extra weight here and there without making ourselves the target of our own hatred?

Here are a few things that have helped me nurture myself into a healthier body and frame of mind:

  • I’m not afraid to look in the mirror.  I am the best that I can be right now.
  • I am flawed and beautiful, like everyone else.
  • My inner voice tells me that I can eat ANYTHING I want so the worry and stress about food is gone.
  • Food does not control my life because food doesn’t have a voice.
  • When I eat something fattening or unhealthy, I have a smaller portion.  Gorging is no longer necessary when you have permission to eat anything.
  • I never eat until I am stuffed; that simply doesn’t feel good!  Instead, I eat until I am satisfied.  That means that my plate may not be empty when I am finished but that is okay;  those leftovers can be eaten tomorrow.  Therefore I am not ever depriving myself of the food that I love.
  • I make healthier choices about what I am going to eat because I know that I feel better eating that way.
  • I never say that I’m starting a diet on Monday.  In fact the word diet is no longer a part of my vocabulary.  IT IS OVER!  I am just eating.
  • The best parts of me are not what I see in the mirror.
  • Giving love, comfort and compassion to others makes me love myself more.

So be kind to the inner and outer you and remember that you are a gift!

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”