I DESERVE TO LIVE A HAPPY LIFE

happiness

That is my new mantra.  I say it all the time.  It works.  The first time I said it out loud I cried. Having lived with daily, chronic pain for three years there are times when I didn’t want to continue if this was the way the rest of my life would be. Hopelessness and depression make ones life very narrow and insular and I was so tired of hearing “you are a complicated case” from so many doctors.  A few months ago I decided to get my battle gear on and start all over again.  I’ve found two wonderful doctors – one at the Boston Pain Center and the other at New England Baptist – who want to get to the bottom of this complicated body and resolve my pain.  Saying “I Deserve To Live A Happy Life” aloud, joyously, I feel it run through my body.  My hopelessness fades and it is replaced with an expectation of joy.

Broken

I have a big heart

and I wear it on my sleeve

in tune with others feelings

I’m always there to please.

But when I needed others

nowhere could they be found

so I stayed inside my sadness

so deep I almost drowned.

At times I claw my way out

put on a happy face

let people think I’m care-free

only I know I’m a fake.

This world is filled with takers

not willing to dig deep

to unleash the hidden feelings

inside this broken heap.

For if you take the time

to peal away the skin

you’ll find the truest me

that few know lies within.